This is the third in a series of posts inspired by a week on retreat. You can read the first post, ‘The Gift of Kindness’ here and the second post, ‘Simplicity in Practice’ here.

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What is silence? Is it the absence of sound, or maybe the absence of unnecessary sound? Stillness. Space. In music, silence is often more powerful than the notes – it takes courage, confidence, an assured performer. Perhaps the same is true in conversation? What about internal noise? Thoughts can be incredibly loud, even though others can’t hear them. Who needs to hear it for it to be a sound? Can you be silent within whilst the external world is noisy? Is silence even possible? Is it more a case of turning down the volume and tuning in to what is most necessary, valuable and important?

A smile, a gentle touch, a gesture, knowing eyes meeting. How much of communication really is about spoken words? In some traditions, silence on retreat goes as far as no eye contact, but a core value of Breathworks is community, so on a Breathworks retreat silence is about dialling down external distractions to support our inner exploration, whilst acknowledging that we are also supporting each other in a shared community space.

Chairs scraping. Crunching, chewing, sipping. Cutlery clattering. Heart beating softly. A sigh, a breath. Hot water bubbling. Soft, padded footsteps. Wheelchair beeping.

Silence is perhaps the part of the retreat experience that most intrigues my friends and family. They ask questions about it with a mix of curiosity, horror and longing. I’ve had mixed experiences of silence on previous retreats; at times it’s been a welcome relief, other times it’s felt lonely and isolating. It was a very kind and easy silence on this retreat, perhaps in part due to the necessary whispers exchanged with my buddies. I also found it a huge help with my pacing. The fatigue I experience from constant conversation means I often have to take myself away to rest alone in my room. But the extended silence on this retreat enabled me to spend more time in the community, sitting quietly by the fire in the company of others.

‘Silence is a collective practice.’ – Vidyamala Burch

Perhaps the most intriguing aspect of all is getting to know people without conversation, coming home having established some close bonds within the silence. I wrote this in an email to a fellow retreatant and her response summed up the community experience of silence beautifully – “ I so agree about the feeling of knowing you, yet only having had whispered covert conversations! But I find that in some strange way the silence allows connection at a deeper level – a level beyond words…a soul level maybe? You get a sense of people uncluttered by the facts of who they are, what they do, where they live…”

With love and thanks to all on the retreat, my buddies and everyone at Breathworks.

‘Through meditation practice we learn to enter into silence, and there the fruits of practice reveal themselves: Wisdom, which is seeing deeply into the true nature of life. Compassion, the trembling of the heart in response to suffering. Wisdom reveals that we are all part of a whole and compassion tells us we can never really stand apart.’ – Sharon Salzburg