Meditation is at the heart of my self-care. It brings me peace and stillness, whatever turbulence may be happening outside or within. It grounds and settles me. It is key to my symptom management. It enables me to tune into my needs and it informs all other aspects of my self-care routine.Read More
There’s a bottle of oramorph in my medicine drawer. Liquid morphine. It’s sickly sweet, measured in a little cup or syringe. An opioid painkiller, it’s related to heroin. It binds to receptors in the spinal cord and brain, blocking the body’s natural response to pain. It doesn’t necessarily take away pain, but it certainly makes you care less about it. It’s strong. It puts you in a woozy haze, somewhere between awake and asleep. It’s addictive. Tolerance levels build. Chronic pain patients can end up taking doses that would kill someone taking it for the first time, and yet they can still be experiencing pain. Anti-sickness tablets are an essential counterpart, as is water, lots of water, or even better a freezer full of ice-lollies. Don’t get me started on the drug-induced hangover.Read More
New Year’s Eve. Party night. I used to feel so much pressure to go out and have fun. There was expectation, though it was rarely met. Going out was busy and expensive. Tensions ran high and I often found myself the sober mediator between friends and their boyfriends in drunken rows. I’d feel myself flagging, wondering how much longer until the clock struck midnight. Of course, pushing myself in this way meant I’d start the New Year feeling exhausted and needing to rest before I could embrace the new start. Read More