“Mindfulness has saved her,” Mum told a friend who was wondering how I was possibly coping with another health crisis and emergency hospital admission. I often say myself, “my mindfulness practice got me through.” The last few weeks have been no exception.

I had already been in hospital for 24 hours, drawing upon my practice to calm, to soothe, to cope. It felt like having a friend with me, my most powerful tool, a quiet confidence that my practice would be there supporting me. “Have you been practising in here?” asked the Health Care Assistant (HCA), pulling my hospital bed into the lift. When I said yes, he wanted to know what I had been doing and how it had been helping me. It’s something I’m often asked, so let me share it here through the framework of the Breathworks 6 Step Process – Be AWARE…

Be – Being aware of body, emotions and thoughts

Initially, it was that simple yet transformative practice of gently turning my awareness to my body. Making peace with gravity as I felt the weight of my body sink into the trolley, the bed – could I soften, even just a little? Noticing a part of my body that wasn’t hurting, a hand, a foot – what sensations were there? Remembering to breathe. Could I even be curious about my breath when the oxygen mask was on – the touch of air, the smell, the sound? And what about the sensations of illness coursing through my body – heat in cheeks, racing heart, pain in my side, coolness of IV fluids flowing into veins – could I observe with a kindly curiosity whilst softening my body and breath again and again?

A – Acceptance – turning towards the difficult

I began to gently lean into areas of pain, noticing patterns of tension and holding and recognising they were a self-protective mechanism but that I was safe and could let go. I looked a little closer at difficult thoughts – past memories and future projections – allowing them to come and go as passing mental events, and when they felt particularly emotionally charged, dropping my awareness into my body and the emotions beneath. Fear, anxiety, frustration, sadness – how did I feel them? Where did I feel them? Could I watch the intensity ebb and flow, soothing myself, breathing, peeling back layer upon layer of secondary suffering?

W – Wonder – seeking out the pleasant

With awareness of my body, thoughts and emotions, and with spending time gently turning towards the difficult aspects of my experience, I discovered I could also find moments of pleasure, of joy, even whilst in hospital. Chatting with a student nurse who understood some conversation and laughter was as important as any medical treatment she was learning to administer. Seeing faces light up around the ward as a tiny baby came to visit his mother. Feeling moments of comfort at having a soothing warm shower, putting on clean cotton pyjamas, sipping my favourite tea.

A – Arising and passing – living with flow, with broader sense of perspective

With the gentle practices of awareness and acceptance, my experience began to feel less intense. I could see the bigger picture and live the full experience of both pleasure and pain. I rested back within this kindly, spacious awareness and if I lost my footing I reminded myself that was okay, I could return to this place of grounded stability and balance conducive for recovery and healing.

R – Relating – building sense of connection with others

It’s a humbling experience being in hospital with others, a stark reminder of shared humanity – we all have a story, we all suffer, we all want to be happy and well. I always find the connections that develop with other patients heart-warming – we’re in close proximity with strangers at a very vulnerable time. There’s empathy, unspoken understanding, we don’t need to know individual stories to show kindness. Smiles, eye contact, well wishing, small acts of kindness, witnessing the care of hospital staff, the concern of family and friends. I was never alone, and neither were the patients around me.

E – Engaging – with life and living with choice

The awareness and perspective my practice brought helped me recognise there were always choices I could make that would impact my experience. I could choose to fully inhabit my body with kindly acceptance. I could choose to stop off an unhelpful thought train. I could choose to show myself compassion. I could choose to notice and let in the good, and to be open to others and all that we share. I could choose to soften, to breathe, to fully live this life of mine, again and again.

There wasn’t time for me to share all of this with the HCA, we had long since arrived at the ward he was transferring me to. “How can I find out more?” he asked. I gave him the Breathworks website. I do hope he looks it up.

You can read more about the Breathworks approach and the 6 Step Process here.

Image: I can’t credit the image, it was one I found on social media, but I thought it was rather lovely.