I embarked on Breathworks’ ‘Mindfulness for Health’ course with high hopes. I was already familiar with the wonderful work of Breathworks and I was eager to bring more of their techniques into my practice. I wasn’t disappointed. In fact, my expectations were exceeded as I deepened my practice in a supportive and inspiring community. Read More
Last week I completed Breathworks’ ‘Mindfulness for Health’ course. Over ten weeks I was able to deepen my practice, be part of a supportive community and witness transformation in myself and others. I’m looking forward to sharing the experience with you next week. In the meantime, I’ve created a mindfulness toolbox to remind myself and others of the practice in an easy and accessible way. Some of the ideas are so simple and take such little time, yet they can have a truly profound effect on your day to day life, whatever your situation. You can find the toolbox here.
I’m sitting on the bed. I’m holding a ball of yellow wool. It’s soft, bright. A crochet hook is gently cradled in my right hand. “Yarn over hook and pull through a loop,” says my roommate sitting next to me, wool and hook in hand too. I watch as the string of yarn turns into neat little chain stitches. I forget where I am. I forget I’m in hospital.Read More
I’m waiting for two hospital admissions. I don’t know when they’ll be or how how much notice I’ll be given before I have to pack my bag, say goodbye to my kitties and face yet more inpatient treatment and sleepless nights on a plastic hospital mattress. I have imminent meetings and assessments to review the care I receive, which, given government bureaucracy, can create huge amounts of stress. Not to mention the day to day challenge of managing my condition, living with difficult symptoms and finding ways to enable me to complete basic tasks most people take for granted. It could easily consume me. My life could centre round illness and disability, and all the suffering that accompanies it. That would be perfectly understandable. It might even be expected. It has happened in the past. But I know if I broaden my awareness, there is always something pleasant to experience.Read More
Have you ever been struck by how differently two people can view the same thing? How about considering how one person can see two very different points of view? It is so easy to get stuck in a particular mindset thinking there is only one way, but with an increase in psychological flexibility it’s possible to take a step back and consider alternative views. You might just discover all sorts of possibilities if you do.
I was feeling anxious about something recently; future hospital treatment, so it was understandable that I might feel apprehensive. I felt stuck. I’d lost control and jumped into the unknown. At least that’s what my thoughts were telling me. Prompted by the words of a wise doctor, I was reminded how those thoughts weren’t necessarily true. What might the alternative be? Could I flip it? Could I take charge and therefore feel in control? Could I express my wishes and assert my needs, making it less of an unknown? Yes, I could. The result was immediate and empowering. It felt like an entirely different situation. I was no longer stuck.
Our thoughts have a direct impact on our feelings, so it’s no surprise that a shift in perspective can bring a shift in feelings and an increased sense of well-being. The challenge is to see the alternative. We become so familiar with a particular point of view that our brains literally get used to activating certain neural pathways. The good news is that just like physical flexibility, psychological flexibility (being able to adapt to different situations and view alternative perspectives) can be increased. Learning something new, doing something differently and getting out of your comfort zone all help. You can read more about that here. It really is worth the effort.
“This is going to take some time,” I thought, as I was asked to draw my attention to the big toe of my left foot at the start of my first body scan meditation. I kept going though and was soon aware of tingling sensations in my feet I’d never noticed before. When I reached my lower back, a surge of warmth spread up my spine. By the end I was breathing with my entire body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I felt grounded, calm and peaceful, yet alert and awake.Read More
I’m sitting on the sofa. An icy chill seeps through my skin, penetrating layers of clothing and blankets. My legs are switched off. Lifeless. Paralysed. I try to wriggle my toes. I can’t.
Symptoms of abnormal movement are a common feature of FND, so much so that it is sometimes referred to as Functional Movement Disorder. Paralysis, spasms, tremor, limp and gait changes can occur. Any part of the body can start moving in an unusual way. My movement can change so dramatically and quickly from full-body paralysis to violent spasms that can take me to the opposite side of the room. It is unnerving to experience and I expect it’s unnerving to watch.
There’s a bottle of oramorph in my medicine drawer. Liquid morphine. It’s sickly sweet, measured in a little cup or syringe. An opioid painkiller, it’s related to heroin. It binds to receptors in the spinal cord and brain, blocking the body’s natural response to pain. It doesn’t necessarily take away pain, but it certainly makes you care less about it. It’s strong. It puts you in a woozy haze, somewhere between awake and asleep. It’s addictive. Tolerance levels build. Chronic pain patients can end up taking doses that would kill someone taking it for the first time, and yet they can still be experiencing pain. Anti-sickness tablets are an essential counterpart, as is water, lots of water, or even better a freezer full of ice-lollies. Don’t get me started on the drug-induced hangover.Read More
Have you ever read something and thought ‘yes, that’s it. That’s what I’m feeling. That’s what I’m supposed to do’? I have, many times. I use my own writing to make sense of my experiences, but I love reading writing by other people to broaden my views and challenge my ideas. Sometimes the best experience is when I read something I can relate to; maybe somebody has expressed something I’ve experienced but haven’t yet managed to articulate, or perhaps it’s simply the comfort of knowing I’m not alone. Then of course there’s the pure escapism when reading takes me away from my immediate experience to a different world. Read More
Those words jumped out at me from an interview I was listening to online. They resonated so deeply, I’ve found myself thinking about them again and again. There is such truth, wisdom and emotional depth in that one simple statement. Let me set the context.