Category: Reflections

Riding the Waves – Mindfulness for Stress

“I’m stressed.” “It’s stressful.” We say and hear it all the time, but what exactly is stress? What if it’s not the challenging experience or how we’re feeling, but the gap between the two where we can either habitually react or consciously respond?

On my recent training retreat we focused on delivering Mindfulness for Stress, an eight week course by Breathworks that is tailored towards helping people manage the challenges of daily life. There was an irony that almost immediately after immersing myself in the course I felt pretty stressed myself and yes, I’m sure I said “I’m stressed” and “it’s stressful” countless times. But I could also recognise that my response, or rather my reaction, was fuelling a lot of how I was feeling and that it was within my control to shift back to a more balanced state. Not that it was easy, but knowing that it was even possible was hugely empowering.

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Breathworks Mindfulness Teacher Training – Advanced Level

I’m sitting in the courtyard. The sky clear blue above, hot rays of sun warming my skin. Grasses whisper in the breeze, a bee buzzes around a yellow lily. There’s a burst of laughter, a passing conversation. Cutlery rattles as the dining trolley is wheeled through to the kitchen.

I was partway through my teacher training week, feeling held in the space and held in the community as the gentle hustle and bustle of retreat activity went on around me. I was back at Vajrasana, a beautiful retreat centre in the heart of rural Suffolk. I felt part of the Breathworks family, experiencing a deep connection with the people, the practice, the training and the environment I was in. I was aware of my breath deep within my body, of gentle flutterings of excitement in my chest, a smile on my face.Read More

A Little Update

It’s been a little while since I last posted. I have been enjoying a period of greater stability in my health after what was a particularly challenging Autumn and Winter, and I’ve been focusing on, and thoroughly enjoying, my mindfulness teacher training.

I’ve started running a ‘practice practice’ Mindfulness for Health course (a trial run of the official practice course I will deliver as the final part of my training ahead of applying for accreditation). It’s an absolute pleasure to be sharing what I’ve learnt with others and an honour to be able to help facilitate people in making meaningful changes in their lives. I hope it’s just a taste of what is to come. I’ve been working on the Mindful Movement component of training and Looking ahead to the advanced training retreat I’ll be going on this summer. It really is all beginning to come together.

I’d like to share this little video I made for Breathworks with you, where I talk about my experience of the Mindfulness for Health course, how it complements my FND management and how it has ultimately given me a better way to live my life.

Plastic

There’s no avoiding it. The plastic that we’ve taken for granted, used without consideration, and in many ways become reliant upon, is slowly destroying this beautiful earth. The recent BBC series, Blue Planet, helped to bring the issue to public attention. I found it heartbreaking watching animals suffering so greatly because of our throwaway culture, in parts of the world that shouldn’t even be touched by human consumption. There’s no avoiding the issue, and it often feels like there’s no avoiding the plastic.Read More

Becoming My Own Therapist – FND Awareness Day 2018

Voices for FND. Which voice do I want to be heard? The voice of frustration that we have to fight for diagnosis and treatment? The voice of sorrow that so many suffer so greatly from this condition? Or the voice of hope that it’s possible to live a good life even amongst these challenges? Read More

‘Walk With Me’ – A Film Review

Can a film be a meditation? An image of a majestic stag standing in a harsh winter landscape. Ladybirds scurrying around a wooden window frame. Ants beavering away on a verandah. The sound of raindrops. My senses came alive from the cinema seat.

‘Walk With Me’ is a documentary following the Buddhist monastery, Plum Village, in rural France. The film was three years in the making and eagerly awaited for by mindfulness practitioners around the world. British film makers Marc Francis and Max Pugh gained unprecedented access to the community, describing the making of the film as a mindfulness practice in itself.Read More

The Art of Pacing

The timer goes off and my pen goes down. I breathe fully, checking for any resistance and tension, and allowing my breath to soothe my body as it sinks into my wheelchair. I prepare for a sit to stand, gently shifting from side to side before I move my body forward and up. I’m in the kitchen, making a cup of tea, tidying a few things away. The timer goes off and I breathe right down to my feet, standing tall whilst grounded and strong. I settle onto the sofa, a cup of tea, Bertie and Bella curled beside me, a cosy blanket and hot water bottle. I allow my body to rest back in the cushions. I reach for my knitting and I breathe.

My pacing hasn’t always been so finely tuned or infused with such care. I used to think I was pacing when in fact all I was doing was blocking out rest time before and after activities I knew would leave me feeling broken. In my diary, I was accounting for ‘boom and bust’, the medical term for the common pattern of overactivity when you feel a bit better and under activity when you feel a bit worse, but I wasn’t pacing in a way that brought stability to my symptoms or rhythm to my day. This led to real extremes; I could be up on stage performing one week and lying in a hospital bed the next.Read More

A Word of Intention

Sometimes a single word can be such a powerful compass. It can give direction when you’re feeling lost and it can remind you of your aspirations, values and strengths, helping you to regain your footing and find your way.Read More

Reconnecting

Reconnecting with words. It feels good to be writing. My absence from the blog was unplanned; my recovery from labyrinthitis, supported so well by my week of self-care, was quickly followed by a glandular fever type infection, then a cold, which re-triggered the labyrinthitis. There was no respite, no opportunity to reconnect, as the ‘viral flare’, as my doctors are calling it, became increasingly multilayered and complex, making it even more challenging than usual to manage my FND. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I returned to basics again and again, emptying my toolbox of symptom-management techniques, as my body tried to heal and I worked to regain and maintain lost strength and functioning. Read More

A Week of Self-Care – Day 7 – Community

I’m pretty good in my own company. I need plenty of time alone doing quiet, reflective activities and this has been a key part of my self-care as I have been recovering from illness over the last few weeks, gently gathering my strength and energy in the peaceful surroundings of my home. I recognise the importance of this for me, but I also think it’s vital to feel part of my community. We all need a sense of belonging, of sharing and of company.Read More