This is the final post in a series inspired by a week on retreat. You can read the first post, ‘The Gift of Kindness’ here, the second post, ‘Simplicity in Practice’ here and the third post, ‘What is Silence?’ here.

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Clear sky full of stars. Soft footsteps echoing through the cold night air. Wind howling around the courtyard. Wrapped up in coat, hat, scarf and gloves, protected and held by the walls of Vajrasana. Buddha sitting on his pool of rippling black water. Soft spot lights picking up textured seed heads. I walk a little with my walker, exhilarated, hopeful. I sit back in my wheelchair pulling my blanket around me as I allow my senses to awaken and my imagination to come alive.

The theme of imagination ran throughout much of the retreat. We were invited to let it into our practice and to play with it, from a place of embodiment so that we didn’t slip into fantasy. I often draw upon imagination in my meditations and I was delighted that it became a topic of the retreat; something that can feel at odds to mindfulness, but that can add such vibrancy and richness to our practice.

Vidyamala shared a wonderful story, passed down from her teacher: imagine each person is a lampshade with a unique pattern on it. As we grow in practice, the light becomes brighter and the pattern gets clearer. We become more our true selves, owning our lampshade and our unique pattern. I found myself picturing us all with lampshades instead of heads! During loving-kindness meditations where we gradually included more and more people in our awareness, I couldn’t help but laugh when the image of a hall full of meditating lampshades popped up, each getting brighter, their pattern clearer.

On a particularly painful day, when the floor I was lying on to meditate seemed to be getting harder and harder, despite my increasing pile of mats and blankets, I went to the lounge, lay on a sofa next to the fire, covered myself in a blanket, a hot water bottle and a lavender eye pillow. I did a body scan imagining I was in a warm bath. I moved my awareness around different parts of my body, enjoying the soothing warmth as I breathed and softened. I was meeting my pain with kindness, a true moment of self-compassion.

At the start of the retreat I wrote in my journal, ‘becoming my true self,’ when I was reflecting on the themes of connection and coming home to myself that had been alive for me during our arrival practice. On our final evening, I found myself giving a talk about my Breathworks journey and the support I have received from The Breathworks Foundation. I was sitting by the fire, sharing my story, connecting very deeply with myself and the special people who have made this amazing journey possible. My lampshade was shining brightly. I had come home to myself and I was taking with me the confidence, grace and kindness I had experienced along the way.

With love and thanks to all on the retreat, my buddies and everyone at Breathworks.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the whole world.” – Einstein

“Imagination is the cognitive participation in a sacramental universe.” – Coleridge

“Imagination heals the divorce between thinking and being.” – Henry Corbin